Dating the Devil
by dreams.of.destiny
Summary: Crackfic. He's just the leader of an allboy clique, she's just a girl looking for the upper hand. Obviously, a relationship between the two of them would be the last thing on their minds. Unless there was a gain. Pein/Konan
1. Meeting Upon the Roses

Dating the Devil

the **first**_ meeting upon the roses_ (x) the crash of a watering can, questions of sexual orientation, a beneficial relationship

this is a fanfiction from dreamsofdestiny to darkhopeassasin who requested a peinblue. no ownership of naruto, not-so-great writing, the usual run-of-the-mill boy-meets-blue-haired-girl story. reviews are cherished. and by "review," she means something more than "update soon."

note: smidgens of SasoDei, NaruSaku, SasuSaku, and NaruHina (more to come)

(_the ruins of the world_)

She was always looking for a tactical advantage. Always looking for a weakness to exploit, a relationship to be forged. And what she seeked, she found. She was not a "new kid" by any standards. If anything, she was an "original," having stayed at Luminaere Academy for Gifted Undergraduates ever since the opening. Ever since freshman year. Oh, had she appeared in a blaze of glory. Right before the teacher had called her name, her real name from the role call list, she had crisply interrupted her. How many years and months ago had it been? Too many to count, too many to count.

_"Blue."_

_"Excuse me?"_

_"I wish to be referred to as Blue."_

_"Blue?"_

_"Yes, Blue."_

And that was that. No one even knew what else to call her, and her records were soon whisked away, her old name, her old persona replaced completely by a girl whose hair was indigo of the rainbow, whose grades were enviable, whose key characteristic was manipulation and the gaining of an upper hand through devious ways.

Strange as it may seem, her name, her alibi, Blue had not been chosen by the girl, but rather, the girl had been chosen by the name.

She had become Blue, she had melded into the ambitious girl of her dreams.

(_she's coming, she's coming_)

He was always looking for an upper hand. He had ambitions, over-the-top ambitions, but reachable as long as he employed the help of the right people. And so, he watched and waited as one by one, the right people for his elitist clique began to appear.

First came Orochimaru from the upper-divisions of the school, he had long graduated and was last seen at a genetic engineering facility. And then there was Sasori, whose quick wit and delicate appearance charmed all. Kakuzu, despite his temper, was entrusted with finances, Hidan was the pope's son for crying out loud, and Itachi came from one of the most respectable families alive. And then there was Kisame for brute strength (his father was a well-known marine biologist though) and Zetsu for reconnaissance. Deidara soon joined, having someone who knew their way around explosives was always handy, after all, and Tobi was recruited by Zetsu in Junior year.

Everyone came from a well-known family, everyone was talented in their own quirky way.

Why, they even had their own dress code, meeting room, and a name.

_Akatsuki_

_Only Authorized Members Allowed Beyond This Point_

Oh yes, they had accomplished many things, and he could almost taste the freedom, the success he so desired, except there was still one little thing that made him twitch in revulsion.

His organization was so close to being perfect. So damn close.

"Oh, the A-Catsuki?" One oh-so-ignorant student had remarked down the hallway, "Aren't they that gay clique?"

Gay? As in the Akatsuki being gay? He was about to kick that asshole of a freshman into sophomore year, but logic argued him out of it. After all, there was absolutely nothing to disprove that they weren't homosexual. If anything, Hidan's one-night-stand's and Kakuzu's payments for prostitutes (instead of getting a long-term girlfriend) only served to reaffirm those beliefs. And between Tobi and his fear of "cooties" and Uchiha Itachi's so obviously feminine features, one could only wonder.

Of course, Pein himself was not homosexual, hell, he doubted he was heterosexual. There was nothing about people that made him want them as a partner, and since he couldn't see any tactical advantages in getting a girlfriend or boyfriend, he stayed right where he was. Happily asexual.

Mind you, he would have stayed happily asexual for the rest of his life: get out of LAGU with most of his sanity, go to college, get a job, retire, and live happily till the end of his days. But of course, this was before people started openly doubting his sexual preference.

_"You have to wonder what other places he has those piercings and why he gets them..."_

_"He's the leader of an all-boy clique...surely that gives some rights..."_

_"He's probably cheating on all of them with each other. That's probably how he got them there..."_

That one "A-Catsuki" comment was the straw that broke the camel's back. He had never heard one vaguely gay comment made about Itachi and the boy wore his hair in a fucking ponytail, for Christ's Sakes!

Crumpling yet another love letter for Hidan, he strode irritably towards the girl's dormitory, vowing to make the first one the saw his new girlfriend.

(_haven't you seen?_)

She rather liked roses. But only perfect roses. And only snow-white ones at that. But if it was a perfectly snow-white rose, she'd be satisfied.

Of course, the produce around the area produced insufficient roses. They were either just a little battered around the edges, or the white not pure enough for her taste, or simply godawful overall. Because of these circumstances, she took to growing roses (small batches, mind you) just outside her dormitory. Of course, they had to be watered daily, given just the right amount of sunlight, covered properly from the harsh weather that encompassed LAGU year-round, and countless other tasks.

But in the end, when she plucked a thornless snowdrop from the natural bouquet outside her doorway, it felt completely worthwhile.

And so today precisely at 3 PM, as with every other day, Blue could be found watering her treasured fauna.

Pein had been casually walking through the female territory for two minutes, not at all surprised he had not seen any girls. They were too busy primping and sneaking over to the boy's side, according to Deidara. So the leftover girls must be somewhat realistic. With that logic, he fell in her, her eyes, her hair, her.

In any romantic way, he would wish he could say it was love at first sight, that she dropped dead at his hotness, that she lept for him proclaiming her love for him.

But in reality, he was regretting his earlier decision on getting a date with the first girl he chanced upon. Especially if she had a freakin' shade of blue as her hair colour. Could that not scream "crazy" any louder?

No matter, he thought to himself, he made himself a vow and stick to it he would. 'I'll sweep her off her feet,' was probably along his line of thought.

"Your hair is blue."

There was silence, he could not believe he had just said something so obvious, something so stupid, something so...so...un-suave!

Blue decided not to dignify that comment with a reply, choosing instead to continue watering her roses, making sure to tip the can at just the right angle so no leaves were rudely torn off.

Things were moving too slow for his liking. Of course, it didn't have anything to do with the fact that he had "introduced" himself to her in the lamest way possible, no that was out of the question. So obviously, he decided to speed their (nonexistent) relationship up a little.

He kissed her.

Yes, as in actual lip-to-lip contact. Abrupt and when he broke off contact just as quickly as he had come, they were both uncertain as to what, how, or why that had just happened.

But Pein knew he was a good kisser, and he just knew that had she been any other girl, she would have fallen to her knees in worship.

"Be my girlfriend." It was short, it was simple, and there was no 'I've loved you in secret for years' bullshit. Her heavy-eyeshadowed eyelids had not lifted a millimeter since the initial kiss or the sudden invitation (more or less command) to date.

"How will I benefit from this relationship?"

Three sentences into the "relationship" and Pein could already tell this person was someone not to be underestimated. A perfect businesspartner-turned-girlfriend. No lovey-dovey crap, no wide-open fish-mouth gaping. Clear and concise sentences that got the point across. Hell, he didn't even know her and already he could tell he would get to like her.

"Dating me will mean that you will be in close contact with my acquaintances, and with them, their parents."

She nodded, signaling she understood that one, but probably needed more. Well, he was prepared (as unlikely the situation seemed).

"It will also boost your social status, assuming it is high enough already, because being in a relationship makes you higher than being single."

Another nod.

"Most importantly, you will, most likely have, be asked out. This is a failsafe excuse, and not only that, but a relationship in which not only do we both benefit, but we can back out with no hard feelings at all. After all, I don't even know your name."

"I am Blue."

"I am Pein."

And it was then and there that he knew she had accepted him. It was there that he felt the thrill of a challenge, making this feminine creature fall for him, course through his body. And he displayed a signature cocky-bastard grin, and strode out of the girl's dormitories. With all the air of someone who had conquered a mountain.

No longer would his sexual orientation be questioned, no longer would his organization be under fire for sexism, and no longer would his future be unsteady.

After all, Pein had never lost a battle.

And Blue, she simply watched his retreating form for a couple seconds, before returning to watering her flowers, the pail never leaving her hand. The name, his name, was never tried upon her tongue, she didn't see the point in doing so, after all, it was like, no it was a business agreement. And she had never rolled the name of her other business partners along her lips.

And yet...

"Pein..."

And with that, the watering can crashed to the dirt, a slightly irritated indigo-haired girl striding back into her room. Her pale face was composed perfectly and when she was later questioned by roommates about the watering can, she would make up a sufficient excuse for them.

For now, she had to get accustomed to her latest contract with the devil.

She was dating.

Dating the devil.


	2. Announcing To Others

Dating the Devil

the **second** _announcing to others_ (x) not-so-helpful advice, overactive imaginations, 'harmless' white lies

this is a fanfiction from dreamsofdestiny to iriseclipsed who requested a peinblue. no ownership of naruto, not-so-great writing, the usual run-of-the-mill boy-meets-blue-haired-girl story. reviews are cherished. and by "review," she means something more than "update soon."

(_too easy to traumatize_)

He had never been in a relationship before. Nor did he ever lower himself to reading explicit novels that spoke of how a couple acted together. In short, Pein was completely clueless as how to display to the school that he and Blue (Couldn't she have picked a saner nickname?) were indeed a couple. And with no one in the Akatsuki being in a long-term public relationship, there wasn't much to refer from. Now, since he most certainly was not on the high of in-the-process-of-proving-to-the-world-he-wasn't-gay, he realized that Hidan was the best bet, if his mountain of past affairs had anything to do with relationship advice.

So he headed down to Hidan's room in the boy's dormitory. Not bothering to knock, he swiped in his stolen administration card and opened the door.

Said son-of-a-pope was lying on his luxurious Venetian lounge, bleeding profusely in the chest from yet another sacrifice to his beloved God. Once again, Pein questioned his choice in people, before closing the door with a loud BANG so Hidan would pay him some attention.

"What the hell?" The foul-mouthed religious fanatic badmouthed, readjusting the icepack on his head in order to look at the intruder. "Why the fuck are you here?"

Ignoring the obvious annoyance, the unwelcome guest pulled out a chair and sat down, taking no heed of the digitus impudicus the bleeding "host" gave him.

"I require your assistance in a certain matter."

"Assistance? You son of a bitch! You interrupt my ritual to ask for my fucking assistance? Go to hell!"

"I'm in a relationship."

THLUNK. And down fell both the ice-pack and Hidan's mouth. The reaction was almost comedical, and while Pein admitted he seemed the least likely to be in a relationship--

"That's fucking fantastic! Whose the lucky man?"

Now was Pein's turn to look at his acquaintance as if he shaved off all his hair. Okay, screw cordial terms with the Pope's son; Hidan was going to die for that comment.

"I'm dating a girl." Wrongly-accused homosexual felt that now was a great time to be on the high of in-the-process-of-proving-to-the-world-he-wasn't-gay.

"Whoa! Hold up, slow down, and rewind the goddamned tape! You're _not gay_?" The incredulity in his eyes made it all the worse, "I mean, that bastard Kakuzu, at least he bangs a chick up to show off his money! But you--you, you've never even batted a fucking eyelash at anyone relatively female! I thought you and Itachi were getting all hot and steamy together, all these years. Or even Deidara because _god_ that asshole..." And Hidan ranted and raged like a madman for minutes without end, pairing Pein up with any male he had or had not met.

The images Hidan's banter sent to the stupefied leader were traumatizing.

"Or maybe Orochimaru, because hell, his tongue is supposed really good at..."

On and on and on andonandonandon...Pein sorely wished he had a bazooka at hand, maybe if he blasted the priest's head to smithereens...Screw LAGU and their "no firearms" policy.

"So anyways!" Hidan concluded his lecture as if he had not horribly traumatized his leader, "Whose the unlucky girl?"

If Pein were a lower man, he would have shivvered in disgust, or at very least sat in stupor for a good five minutes to recollect the pieces of his sanity. But of course, he had his pride to worry about and it stated that he was certainly a higher man.

"Blue."

BAM. The shock this time caused Hidan to fall straight off the lounge.

"The girl with that crazy-coloured hair?" There was a hint of awe mixed in with disbelief in his tone.

'Oh god, I'm dating someone with a criminal record...' was Pein's first thought.

"Yes."

"You have got yourself one hell of a sweet catch," Lord forbid there to be _jealousy_ in Hidan's voice, "That girl's the only female I know that isn't a whore!"

"Really." And here he had never heard of her before...

"Spill, how'd you get her to be your girlfriend?"

"That's unneccesary information," Pein replied, still a 'little' mad at the implication he was gay, "More importantly, your assistance is required in getting the school to know that we are a couple."

"And you need my help, why?"

Now of course, higher men knew when to swallow their pride, and if Pein weren't so driven by it, he'd have probably admitted he had no idea what the first thing a "couple" should do. But of course, he was driven by his pride and simply responded to the question with a shiver-inducing glare.

It would have worked, had Hidan not chosen to snigger.

"You've never read porno, have you?"

"No."

Now, the blood was all but ignored as the swearing priest cheerfully got up and beckoned for Hidan to follow him into the spacious two-bed bedroom. Of course, Kakuzu wasn't inside, for there was money to steal and people to con. With a graceful (rich) sweep of his hand, the closet opened, and out tumbled...

A shrine to Playboy.

Needless to say, more traumatization was yet to come...

(_forever waiting for the right moment_)

She was not driven by pride. Pride did not drive her. _Superbia_ was not her vice. Blue repeatedly chanted this as she waited (not-so-patiently) for her roommates to arrive. It was already six, but the stupid sun refused to set completely. Leaving the room in a slightly dusky light, not bright enough to see detail, but not dark enough to turn on the lights. They should be coming any minute now, those two freshman girls Waiting patiently for what she wanted was something she was all too accustomed to.

Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.

She closed her eyes in meditative silence, trying to think of her next move. Probably gossip. Although most of it wasn't true, it certainly gave him some depth as opposed to the random stranger who gave her only his first name and stole a kiss. Not that she was complaining or anything, but she should have at least charged a fee...

_He is such an awful kisser._

Oh joy, she was now taking to insulting her business partner's kissing style, what next? His fashion sense? The indigo-haired girl breathed out a sigh as she stood up, stretching and making sure her bed looked as if she had been sleeping for two hours instead of feeling annoyed and brooding aimlessly.

THUMP-THUMP-THUMP-THUMP. CRASH. BANG!

"Stupid Sakura!"

"Ino you pig!"

Oh joy, her gorgeously shallow roommates were back. Hopefully they would shut up today and not talk about--

"Sasuke looked at me today!"

"Don't be silly, he was obviously looking at me! I mean, I wore the pinkest eyeshadow in the school today!"

Said cotton-candy hair-coloured (Blue bet it was dyed) girl batted her eyelashes innocently, displaying the perfect amount of hot neon pink with each blink. Blue was sorely tempted to scream her lungs out in telling them to shut the hell up. But of course, that would be a big mistake and she couldn't lose ground in such a perfect situation. She had to wait in order to get the right amoutn of shock she wanted from her announcement.

"He's so dreamy..."

"I'd date him in a second!"

"I'd kiss him in two minutes!"

"Two minutes? I'd have taken him by then!" Ino Yamanake crowed.

"You'd have lost him by looking as you do everyday. I'd have put on my most stunning makeup and surely would have charmed his socks off!" Sakura Haruno replied.

And they sighed in a fangirl-y daze as they dreamed of their oh-so-godly wannabe-boyfriend. Blue wanted to roll her eyes. If they stayed quiet for five seconds, she would make her announcement. That would certain shock their socks off.

One...two...three...four...f--

"Blue, I like you the best! You never chase after Sasuke, because you know that he's going to marry me!" Sakura broke the silence, smiling winningly at Blue.

--uck it. Now was as good a time as any.

"That's because I already have a boyfriend," Said 'best-friend' replied crisply. She wanted to add snidely:'And he's better than your precious little Sasuke,' but that would be unacceptable.

Jaws dropped. One dainty darkblue-to-the-point-of-black eyebrow arched elegantly. Touche.

"YOU have a BOYFRIEND?!" they chorused.

Insert satisfied mental smirk here; Ino and Sakura probably would've never bet she had gotten a boyfriend before they did.

"When'd you get him?"

"How'd you meet?"

"What's his name?"

"Is he hot? Sweet? Charming? Stupid?"

And whilst being bombarded with questions (most of which she couldn't even provide answers to), Blue allowed herself the luxury of a Chesire cat smile, after all, these girls were infamous for spreading juicy gossip like oil and flames. Little did they know that they were only helping fan the flames to her own ambitions. Of course, it wasn't a bad thing, not at all...By tomorrow afternoon, everyone who was an anyone would know that she was indeed dating whatshisname.

Oh dammit; she forgot his name.

(_temptation is irresistable_)

Thank all heavenly, hell-esque, and other forces for his pride. Pein managed to "escape" the sacred shrine of nudity mostly unscathed. Of course, he already knew the 'down-and-dirty' (he shuddered at using the metaphor) basics. But never were there such graphic images...and luscious--

Nonono. He was above the influence.

Of course, the cheesy smile Hidan was giving him (along with many death threats if he told Kakuzu that Hidan had shown an 'outsider' the vault) and the way-too-lewd-for-his-liking thumbs up made Pein swear never to ask Hidan for any sort of advice. Ever. As he walked out of the priest's dormitory room, he wondered if getting the information spread (that he wasn't gay, dammit!) was actually worth so much.

But of course, overactive imaginations play all too big of a role in his life.

_"And now, presenting the man who knows just the right people, the man who had a dream and fulfilled it. The man who someday will be known as the next revolutionary figure, the next Bill Gates, a rebirth of the Rennaissance will come with his wake! A man whose--"_

_"THE NEXT QUEER EYE FOR THE STRAIGHT GUY, UN!!" Deidara shouted out loudly from the churning crowd._

_And laughter erupted like hell as the gay jokes ensued. His career, shattered to smithereens, that is, unless he wanted to pursue fashion or design, which he most certainly did not._

Yeah, it was worth it.

Mind made up, and mentally humming a happy tune (whilst imagining Hidan getting impaled over and over andoverondoverandover again), Pein strode towards his dormitory, already having his dreams fo greatness (and world-domination) fulfilled in his mind. And then he could leave it all behind. LAGU, the idiots, his family, and even the Akatsuki. Well, maybe not the Akatsuki, but leave everything else behind...

Too bad he forgot the main concept behind rumours: they were like the game telephone, and when the information was fed through the "loop," it came out unrecognizable in the end.

(_digging your grave_)

"You forgot his NAME?!" more chorusing from the Sasuke-Fanatic Duo: Sakura and Ino.

"Is it that big of a deal?" Blue was itching to respond, instead, she ran through all the names she could possibly think of, trying to find one that matched with his face. She did know quite the large amount of people. She blamed the memory lapse on the kiss. If she wasn't so busy forcing herself to stay still and not run off to wash her lips, she probably would've spent more time listening to what he was saying.

But oh nooo...he just HAD to go and kiss her (badly, at that) and THEN tell her his name.

Tuning the SFD out (whilst they ranted and raged about how it would be a sin to forget Sasuke's name and how they would certainly be a better girlfriend to him than Blue was being to whatshisname and on and on...), she tried to think of a name. The right name, of course, because if she didn't they'd think of one for her.

Doku?

Lagumaru?

Mizumoto?

"I bet you know his name!" Oh was Sakura ever the genius...

"Yeah!" Ino goaded, "You're just not telling us because you're scared we'll tell everyone." Hardly the truth, but hey, reverse psychology is good too...

"You saw right through me..." she lied through her teeth, trying to look ashamed, "I do remember his name."

"Then tell us!" More SFD chorusing.

Why couldn't he choose an easier-to-remember name for himself? But of course not, to add to the ever-growing list of what was wrong with her boyfriend, he had to choose a really annoying, hard-to-remember, uncommon name to top it off!

She sighed unhappily, and giving up all hope of remembering his name, picked one off the top of her head. He was, after all, the best in her Economics class. Hopefully it wouldn't turn out too bad.

"Kakuzu."


	3. Fixing What's Been Broken

Dating the Devil

the **third** _fixing what's been broken_ (x) spreading wrong rumors, having a 30 minute meeting, acting out a breakdown

this is a fanfiction from dreamsofdestiny to nymbis who traded me a peinblue. go read her hilarious "TIDY" PeinBlue fanfiction. no ownership of naruto, not-so-great writing, the usual run-of-the-mill boy-meets-blue-haired-girl story. reviews are cherished. and by "review," she means something more than "update soon."

(_rumors spread faster than the flames of hell_)

"Hey, Kakuzu, what's the answer to problem ten?" Hidan hissed from his seat (an annoying two two feet away).

"Where's the dollar?" Kakuzu monotoned, and a scowl replaced the impatient look on the "holy" student's face. Muttering obscenities as per usual, the boy drew out a twenty-dollar bill, Kakuzu refrained from rolling his eyes. Rich brats. Swiping it expertly off the table, he handed the 20-exercise worksheet to Hidan. He snuck a peek at the worksheet on Hidan's desk. Lo and behold, not a single problem had been completed. Touche.

"Damn filthy money-whore..." The not-so-discreetly spat phrase was ignored as Kakuzu allowed himself the luxury of a smirk. After all, everyday was a good day to make money. And everyday was a good day to anger Hidan. Today, he had made Hidan mad by making money, so in turn, today must be a good day.

Fate was about to give him a slap in the face.

It happened on the way to his favourite class: Economics. It was the main reason he has chosen LAGU in the first place after all, where else had a better curriculum for cheating people out of their money?

So he was doing what he did everyday, making an extra buck (or ten) by selling answers to yesterday's (piss-easy) Economic's homework. In short, he was minding his business, until one of his regular customers approached him.

"I'm best friends with your girlfriend, so do I get a discount?"

Here, the money-grubber did something he never imagined he would have done: he dropped his bills. As in, pieces of paper with monetary value. He couldn't even gasp when they floated seductively to the ground. Hidan's eyes almost popped in their size.

"Whoa; Kakuzu, is every fucking gaylord going straight?"

"He's gay?" Females never knew when to shut up, did they?

That certainly snapped him out of his reverie.

"For your information, asshole, I am neither dating nor gay," this was said in a crisp tone as he picked up his precious money, making sure to take an extra ten from Hidan for that comment.

Hidan, of course, would not accept this answer, and took to whining about it. Loudly.

"But why won't you tell me about it? I mean, we're fucking roommates who share a fucked-up room!" Whine, whine, whine, whine...Kakuzu was quite used to his roommates constant bitching so he simply walked faster, hands almost reaching out to the sacred Economics room. His haven, his heaven.

"Will you tell who the asswipe's girl is?" Hidan intoned, turning on the busybody girl (who happened to have Economics with them), "Such a charming, gorgeous young lady, surely you're more generous in your speech than my fucktard of a partner here." Hidan could lay it on thick, Kakuzu had to give him credit for that.

"Blue! They're such a nice couple, don't you agree?" Flattered female batted her eyelashes happily, another lovestruck fan of the silver-slicked-back-hair badass.

Said badass was currently frozen in place, jaw dropped and eyes bulging. He was repeatedly saying:"No way. No fucking way."

Kakuzu knew that Hidan wasn't exactly the most stable partner, and that they weren't exactly the happiest duo in their money-scamming club, Akatsuki, but Leader-sama would be insanely annoyed to know that he, Kakuzu (of the Finances), had gotten on the slightly-worse side of the Pope's son. It sure as hell wasn't out of friendship when Kakuzu grabbed Hidan by the collar and forcibly dragged him to their class. Nonetheless, the squealing (yaoi)fangirls made it so much more painful.

But all was well in the end when a stupefied Hidan awoke to find he was short of 210 dollars.

(_they burn, they burn_)

Every Wednesday, the Akatsuki had a meeting in order for every member to understand his current objective, and simply to keep the group together. Normally, this two-hour meeting consisted of the members bickering aimlessly about the little peeves of life. This meeting should have been like every other one: in which nothing was accomplished, and everyone went home questioning why they were part of the Akatsuki in the first place. Sadly, the leader's aura just about killed every topic of conversation.

Even Tobi could feel the--

"Anyone want waffles?" Okay, apparently he couldn't.

And eerie silence was the reply to the swirl-face's question, and here, he decided perhaps today wasn't such a fruity day.

Everyone just sat down at the circular table, staring at each other, their feet, or the table itself. No one dared look at Pein.

"ARGH! I can't take it anymore-un! Someone just start up a conversation-un!" Apparently, Deidara was the one to crack under the silence. Leader-sama raised an eyebrow, not at all surplussed by the seemingly random outburst.

Finally, Hidan couldn't hold it in any longer.

"What the hell is up with Kakuzu and Leader-sama dating the same fucking girl?"

At this statement, a cartwheel of consecutive movements followed. All of a sudden, the eerie silence was broken and noise (screams, shouts, exclamations) rang throughout the meeting room.

"I'm not dating, for the fucking hundredth time!"

"_What_?"

"You're all dating? Tobi wishes you a happy marriage!"

Once again, there was the eerie silence, this time due to the "good boy's" innocent statement.

"...Did Tobi say something wrong?"

Pein was, right now, deciding what would be the best course of action in this situation. There wasn't much he could do, just wait for everything to simmer down and then ask (demand) for advice on how to handle the situation afterwards...

"Is there anything to discuss?" As usual, Itachi Uchiha was all about business.

"Other than the affairs of other members and outside bodies," Sasori added in a deadpan, staring straight at Hidan.

"Do you wanna make anything out of it, you goddamn puppet-boy?" Hidan would have lunged straight over the table at Sasori if Kakuzu had not held him back. Still glaring with a rage, he sat back down, shooting dirty glances at the puppetmaster and muttering incoherencies under his breathe.

"This meeting is adjourned on account of unforeseen circumstances, Zetsu, please collect their reports in alphabetical order and then you may all leave." With this being said, Pein stood up to leave, striding amiably off in the direction of Blue's dormitory. Advice or no advice, he needed to get to the bottom of how the hell more people knew she was dating Kakuzu than himself.

Kakuzu was determined to get to the bottom of this too, tossing his weekly finances report on the table (ignoring Hidan's screechings) carelessly and stalking off where he knew Blue had to go in order to complete today's Economics' homework.

(_looking for what's never been yours_)

So she wasn't in her dormitory, that was acceptable, at least that meant she had better things to do than water her flowers all day. Sadly, he didn't have any classes with her, and had the absolute minimal amount of contact with her. Meaning that he had no idea where the most likely place to search for her would be.

He wasn't worried, not in the sense of the word. He was a competent person and of course, chose a competent partner as his girlfriend. But now, the trickle of uncertainty flooded into an ocean. The only reason he had wanted a girlfriend in the first place had been to prove he wasn't homosexual, and of course, to higher his social status. He hadn't expected her to...to what? Have blue hair, be dating his "subordinate," have the much-vyed-for respect of the Pope's son, and still manage to keep a low profile?

Most likely all of that, and he hadn't even gotten to know any actual details about her, simply the surface.

A manipulative part of him, the selfish, ambitious part, wanted him to use her status for his better will. He could recruit her into the Akatsuki, that would surely stop the hoardes of fangirls' jabbering mouths, and then use her as a pawn. Of course, she'd want compensation, and then she wouldn't care if she was used to both (all of them, actually) of their advantages. Already, he could see her as a liar, an enchantress, and a...

There was something. He was certain there was a third description, a third role he could see her starring flawlessly. It was there, dammit!

And yet...a part, another piece of him, didn't want him to know.

Why...?

Choosing to shove everything to the back, he concentrated on locating where his girlfriend was.

One thing was certain, they both had a lot to sort out and Blue needed a lot of explaining to him in order for this beneficial relationship to work out as it was intended.

"What a mess..."

(_don't try because you'll fail_)

"Explain." The star student in her Economics class cutting through her reading session didn't surprise Blue at all. Calmly (as Kakuzu's voice was, cold, calm) placing a bookmark on her unfinished page, she closed the book and give him her full attention, as she had been taught to do for so long.

"I forgot his name so I used yours." This time, Kakuzu did not at all understand. Too bad he had long forgotten how to quirk his eyebrows in that questioning manner. So he had to settle for regular speech as a form of communication. But this girl, Blue, was smarter than expected, anticipating the question.

"Kakuzu, a member of the Akatsuki, an elitist all-boys clique," the way she said it made it seem like it was out of a prison confirmation, "your leader, whose name is lost on myself, is my boyfriend. You understand, that I am dating him for the benefits of having a boyfriend, as he is with me."

That definitely sounded like something Leader-sama would say. He continued to stare at her, wanting a deeper explanation.

"So the equivalent effect was generated when I said that I was dating you. And so in the end, we will all prosper because of this, irregardless of my memory lapses."

"Except for the statement that you're dating Kakuzu, which means I am cut off from the benefits of this relationship," Pein's smooth voice cut into the conversation. Kakuzu relearned how to raise his eyebrows in surprise as his leader strode in with all the air of one that was not looking aimlessly around the campus due to loss of direction. Blue looked at him completely unfazed, as if a meeting between a 'fake' boyfriend and a 'real' boyfriend was everyday business.

"A course of action would be helpful," Kakuzu said dryly, looking at the (not-at-all-guilty) person who got them all into this web of chaos.

"It's ridiculously simple," Blue intoned, still somewhat surprised that both of them hadn't thought of the obvious idea.

"Do explain," he had already thought of something, but was curious as to the 'escape' plan. After all, he had to know how his girlfriend thought.

"He dumps me right now," she motioned for Kakuzu to do his part. He either didn't 'get' it or ignored it, "And you simply date me right after. That way, not only--"

"Do we get more publicity, but it's also believable." Pein finished for her, and she was not all surprised when he said, "I was thinking along that line as well." Here, he smirked as Blue grinned back, this was definitely the beginnings of a beautiful, beneficial, business partnership.

Kakuzu definitely agreed as well, seeing as how he was desperate to be single again so his annoying bitch of a partner would shut the hell up.

"I should be dumped in the public, that way, some people will see and everything should work itself out."

"Remember to act heartbroken," Kakuzu monotoned, hoping to make a couple bucks off of the 'audience' for the 'show.'

"Believe me, you'll be surprised." And the statement was followed with a slightly scary smile (that reminded Kakuzu and Pein a little too much of Orochimaru) and a sudden swiping of the books crowding the table as the actress prepared to leave.

Pein knew where good places for publicity were, being the leader of the Akatsuki, after all, and led them all to the quad. A large open area where students of all years, genders, and hair colours flocked about, exchanging grooming tips to homework answers to daily gossip. Here would be the best place for a public dumping. A wonderful place for Blue to display to her boyfriend her acting talents. And boy, was Pein about to be amazed.

(_lying through your teeth_)

Kakuzu roughly twisted his arm away from her death-grip, growling all the while.

"I told you, it's over. You cheated on me, you bitch." Could he have said it with any less emotion?

"No! NO! You can't go! I need you! Please, don't!" Could Blue have sobbed it any louder?

"I never want to see you again." It was quick and relatively painless. But Kakuzu had to admit, the girl had acting talent and she would most certainly blow the ticket boxes off their tops if she ever went into the acting business. Turning heel and leaving with as cold of an air as possible, he made the signal for Pein to be Prince Charming and swoop the girl off her feet. Overall, it was most certainly a good, no great, performance by the two of them.

"No...no...no..." she was still quietly talking to herself in whispers (as if she just had an emotional breakdown and not a foolproof act) as Pein approached.

"You don't deserve him...or me," he began. This wasn't the script, well, there wasn't ever a script, but it felt right to say these words anyways.

"But you can have me anyways." He concluded, grabbing her by the wrist and dragging her into the dormitories in which the Akatsuki resided in. As they passed by, she made sure to have her indigo hair covering her face and continued to nudge to for him to make 'calming' noises. Coos and cheers ran throughout the quad and no one in the audience would have ever guessed that it was simply a well-excecuted improvisation instead of reality.

Back at their dormitory, before Pein left to thank Kakuzu for a fine acting job, his girlfriend stopped him from leaving.

"I apologize for asking, but what was your name?"

And here, Pein realized how the entire fiasco about dating Kakuzu started: she forgot his name. His fucking-it's-so-easy-even-a-toddler-can-remember-it one-syllable name. She forgote his name. And she remembered Kakuzu's. And his name was THREE syllables.

"It's Pein," he said offhandedly, as if he wasn't incredibly offended, "and the next time you forget it, this beneficial relationship will end."

And with that, he stalked out, not as satisfied as he was before, choosing to leave thanking Kakuzu for later day.


	4. Continuing Where We Left Off

Dating the Devil

the **fourth** _continuing where we left off_ (x) followed-through threats, kissing passionately, dinner for two/ten

this is a fanfiction from dreamsofdestiny to beluc who writes gorgeous indepth fics. please read SENESCENCE because it's just...awesome. really. no ownership of naruto, not-so-great writing, the usual run-of-the-mill boy-meets-blue-haired-girl story. reviews are cherished. and by "review," she means something more than "update soon."

(_are you ready for this?_)

It was Thursday. Like every other Thursday she, Blue, had ever encountered, there were classes to attend, notes to copy, and homework to turn in. Everything was alright on her way to first period, she never passed by anyone on the way there because everyone was too busy doing what they normally did at 7 am. The teacher continued to drone aimlessly as she continued to flawlessly copy her lecture word-for-word. In short, everything was normal until the period ended with the ringing of a bell.

And, once again, all hell broke loose.

"Who were you cheating on Kakuzu with?"

"Ohmigod, how did you get Pein to notice you? I mean, he is so hot!"

"I'm jealous!"

"What a total slut, I used to think you were nice."

So many questions and comments all swirling around Blue at once. Her eyebrow twitched at the last comment; didn't these people know what constituted a slut?

"I mean, sleeping with two--"

"Kakuzu-san and Pein-san are both are both very respected people who have reputations to uphold," she said this with an even, almost complacent tone that made all the useless buzzing of the gossipers stop. "I have absolutely no doubt that anyone who ever says I slept with either of them will suffer not only expellation, but no hope to living a satisfactory life."

"Oh, so now you're using your boyfriend to defend yourself?" a particularly obstinate (or just plain stupid) girl jeered.

"I have a class to get to, please get out of the way," hoping to end this quickly, Blue tried to get past the little crowd towards her next class. There were only two minutes left anyways.

"Hey, don't run away, chicken!" the girl persued, grabbing the getting-exponentially-annoyed Blue. She would have twitched if she had any control over her body, but instead, she plucked out the white rose in her hair, poising it over the offending hand.

"Let go now before I make you into a memory," this was her voice. Not the sweet tone that she used with teachers and parents, not the bland tone that she spoke with classmates, not even the crisp business-like tone that she spoke to with Pein. This was her real voice. Unyielding and unforgiving.

""What are you going to do to me, you whore?" the other girl was honestly begging for a death sentence, "Poke me to death with your stolen rose? Or maybe you got it from a customer..." There was fear in her voice, Blue could hear that, but the suggestive tone drowned that out.

"Tayuya, don't you think you should--"

"Too late," and in an instant, the rose was stabbed straight through the flute-player's hand.

"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!" The scream chorused throughout the wing, the surrounding crowd scattering like ants as the teachers would come flocking to the source of the explicit. Blue wished that she blacked out, or at least felt dizzy due to guilt. But all she could do was observe every little detail: the nurse hurridly dabbing at the seeping blood, the swarm of staff asking 'what happened? what happened?' and her fallen rose.

It was like a scene from Snow White: blood-red dappling the purest white.

The chaos around her made her want to laugh like hell, but she held it all in and held on to the prayer that she would get out of this unscathed.

Truly, it was a pitiful prayer, but there wasn't much else she could do.

(_you've said your two cents, now it's my turn_)

"So what were your reasons for stabbing Miss Tayuya in the hand?" the principle asked, rubbing her temples and wishing for some liquor. Blue resisted the urge to roll her eyes and concentrated on playing the part of the harrassed victim.

"I was trying to get to my class unscathed, but she continued to throw insults after me. I suppose I lost my temper..." she bit her tongue hard. That was the wrong thing to say.

"There is no 'suppose.' You lost your temper, the end of the story. Why did you feel like taking matters into your own hands instead of alerting a staff member?"

Blue hated interogations because of this very reason: the people wanted your answer for everything, even if it was as simple as: 'The crazy bitch wouldn't let me go,' they needed to know everything from the lips of the criminal. There was no way out of this dilemna. Oh why didn't she pick a lower-profile boyfriend? Oh, right, she didn't pick her boyfriend, he picked her for him. It was all his fault really...everything right now was all his fault...

"Miss Blue? Please answer the question." Tsunade-sama was beginning to feel the grip on her temper slipping, and she hoped she wouldn't be the second one today.

"Tayuya-san would not allow to bypass her."

"Why?"

Exasperation was definitely an emotion she was all-too-accustomed to. But it was normally due to classmates, not fifty-year-old women who certainly lived enough of a life to know a bully incident when she saw one. Too much explaining...

"She seemed as if there was something wrong with me dating."

"...So what you mean to say is that Miss Tayuya was bothering you because you were dating?" The amusement could not be hidden in her voice.

"More or less, she disagreed with whom I was dating," Perfect. Finally, the right answer had revealed itself.

"Ah-ha! So it was a catfight?"

"More or less..." Actually, quite a bit more, Blue wished to add, but she knew that getting off the hook was so close now.

"Alright, now that I know the problem, you'll have Saturday school for two weeks, the two of you, and you'll have to fill out this form," here, the principal whipped out a quick form filled with all the basic ID number, emergency phone numbers, full names, number of offenses, home address; the basic things. Completely used to filling out forms (and delighted that this was not on her permanant record), Blue filled out the form with ease.

"You do know that this will go down your permanant record...

Oh, dammit.

"...for you being an honorary member of the Akatsuki."

What the hell?

Blue's eyes widened as 'Tsunade-sama' dissappeared in a puff of smoke, replaced by her smirking boyfriend. 'Tayuya' came out from the nurse's ward, only to be the pope's son, Hidan, in disguise. He was letting out streams of foul language while nursing his injured hand. The trick dawned on her as the entire room fizzled for a second, and was replaced with a lounge of sorts instead of the principal's office.

"Genjutsu..." Blue said breathelessly, hand brushing the desk in order to feel it was truly there, "How long have you been planning this?"

"Only about two hours, un! We got called around six and were told to initiate a new member, yeah!" the blonde-haired 'nurse' said enthusiastically.

"Never would have thought it was a girl..." Kisame muttered, sitting down on one of the lounge's many recliners.

"So you're now an official member of the Akatsuki, Zetsu, please brief her in our activities and meetings." Pein motioned to a green-haired male in the corner, his face was shrouded due to the lack of light there. "Oh, and her job will be informing the outside world."

"Yes, Leader-sama," a pale, chalk-white hand extended from the darkness, beckoning her to come closer. Blue wished she had felt fear, instead of the rush of adrenaline she knew came with being accepted into the school's most elite clique.

"You have a job," his voice was crackly, but polite, in short, bearable. "Whenever Leader-sama concludes something is of enough importance for the rest of the school to know, you will be the one telling the world, along with Hidan."

"**MAKE SURE TO TELL PEOPLE WHO WON'T MESS THE MESSAGE UP**." A cold hiss said, the breathe chilly to feel. Blue was enticed; so there was someone from the Akatsuki with schizophenia? A multiple personality disorder was definitely a rarity.

"Our meetings are every Wednesday at 2 PM."

"**YOU HAVE TO COME OR ELSE WE'LL KILL YOU**." How touching; her fellow members (it's been so long since Blue used that phrase) were just as crazy as their Leader.

"Understood." And the figure in the dark nodded the mop of green hair (which was all she could see of him), phosphorescent eyes blinked as Blue collected her membership papers, her access card, and of course, the Genjutsu, a complimentary gift for all members. Walking out the door and shutting it with a gentle clack, she continued onto her next class, not at all upset that her membership into the Akatsuki had cost her to miss the entire second period.

"Well, what do you all think of our newest member?" Pein asked, settling into his leather (leader-approved) chair.

"You should take her on a date, I mean, chicks dig romantic shit like that," Obviously, Hidan just had to put his opinions in.

"Yeah, you should, un!" Oh joy, now Deidara was agreeing.

"If it means that you two will not be kissing passionately during meeting hours, then I agree with it as well."

The entire room went dead silent. Pein swore that nonexistant crickets were chirping.

It was incredibly out-of-character for Itachi to say anything without any prompting, much less something as...emotional as that. Of course, it had been deadpanned as usual, but still...

The fact that **Itachi** just said the phrase 'kissing passionately' was still sinking into their brains.

(_it's not too late, never too late_)

She was watering her flowers, but for once, it wasn't 3 PM sharp. In fact, it was only 2:30, and she wasn't qite sure why she was standing outside her dormitory, watering her flowers as if she didn't know the half an hour difference would most certainly push the shade of white back to a paper-white colour, instead of their usual snow-white hue. She sighed, wishing she could find it within her to actually care, but failed to do so. There was only so much she could do everyday, so much that she could take everyday, and she was close to her limit.

The last thing she needed was for him to appear.

Really, he hadn't been persuaded by the various (incredibly argumentative) people in his club, he honestly just wanted some time to get to know the girl who was not only his girlfriend, but the only female member in his club. Surely that was a valid reason to ask for her company for a couple minutes. Nothing intimate, nothing romantic, he simply wanted to test the ropes and get to know her strengths and weaknesses.

But life never works the way you want it to.

This time, he came from the Akatsuki lounge, meaning that she would see him as he was walking towards her room.

"Nice show," this time, she was the one to initiate the idle chatter which (surprisingly) he didn't find a bore, "Do you do that every time you have a new member?"

"Not the same show, but the basic concept. We need to know how you act in a situation you're unprepared for, so that I can make the final judgements."

"So it's a type of initiation?" He wished that she could at least continue looking at him, instead of looking up momentarily, and then returning her gaze to the roses that she was watering beforehand.

"Of sorts." And here, there was a heavy silence in which each was goading the other to speak first. To lose the battle of wills.

Blue relented.

"What is your reason?" Quick and to-the-point, as always; Pein remembered why she, of all people, was able to become his girlfriend.

"We should eat dinner together tonight."

"Alright, where do we meet?" There weren't any already-answered questions, no mushy-gushy crap. Simply the basics, the business, of a dinner for two.

"The Akatsuki lounge room, you know where it is, correct?"

"I have a card key."

"Then meet me there tonight at seven. Dress formally because the place Kakuzu has in mind is very high-class." He watched to see any sign of emotion when he said Kakuzu. Nothing. Good; the normal, love-obsessed girl would have sighed at the thought of a club dinner rather than a dinner with her boyfriend.

"What will we be discussing tonight?"

"You." And with that, he left, heading towards the boy's dormitories (to Blue's back) to ask Kakuzu if he had the dinner reservations set. Of course, he'd have to ask Hidan for a dress shirt and pants, but all in all, the day (and upcoming evening) looked to be going smoothly.

Blue was busy continuing to water her flowers, not at all aware that the pail was empty. Inside, she was stewing about her boyfriend's unreasonable demands and how she'd have to ask Sakura and Ino for dressing up advice, the last time she had formally dressed up being when she was the flower girl for some relative's wedding.

It's rather a shame that both their thoughts were jumbled when they glanced behind quickly, only to catch the other doing the same thing.


	5. Table for Ten

Dating the Devil

the **fifth **_table for ten_ (x) cinderella-well-not-really, how not to order a meal, alibis and other lies

this is a fanfiction from dreamsofdestiny to 10Join-Fei who is the ideal C2 member. she always reviews, and always gives something more than "update soon." you should be nice to her too and read her awesome fanfictions! (if you don't review her stories, I'll bite you-rawr!) no ownership of naruto, not-so-great writing, the usual run-of-the-mill boy-meets-blue-haired-girl story. reviews are cherished. and by "review," she means something more than "update soon."

(_decked in a spider-silk gown_)

She was not nervous. Not nervous at all. Why, she had just passed an initiation test by the most elite boys on campus! So she had absolutely no reason in the world to be even the slightest bit nervous. No reason at all. And yet, here she was, sweating her brains out, as if today was some college entrance examination rather than the night of her dinner dat--club meeting. Club meeting, strictly business, not date.

The gleam in Sakura and Ino's eyes was seriously beginning to freak her out.

"A date?" Sakura asked, glee creeping into her voice.

"_A date?_" Ino echoed, as they swapped looks before putting aside their Sasuke fanatisms for one night...there was a whole other area of interest tonight.

Blue was starting to seriously feel for the poor freshman guy. Of course, she had her own problems to fend off right now, so sympathy wouldn't do. 'Keep a steady head and make sure to reason with them,' she told herself, pasting a quasi-annoyed expression on her face.

"It's quite alright, I'll be leaving shortly, if you don't mind," 'while wearing the absolute ugliest attire imaginable to some high classe restaurant' her mind whispered betrayal as Blue tried to edge away to the door. Only...two...feet...away! Sensing that they'd probably lunge at her in order to beautify her in thirty seconds or less, she grimaced before giving a desperate distraction. "I here Sasuke is at the water polo game tonight..." Hopefully, the Sasuke-Fanatic-Duo couldn't tell her outright lie...

Here was the SFD's train of thought at the moment: Sasuke is hot. Sasuke has a brother he worships. Blue is a member along with Sasuke's older brother. If Blue hooks up with Sasuke's older brother and Sasuke's older brother is happy, he'll have to tell Sasuke who made him meet this wonderful match of his. The end verdict: Blue must be dressed up beautifully tonight in order to capture Sasuke's worshipped older brother's gaze.

People, wave logic goodbye.

"Blue!" Sakura's voice was piercing and abrupt. The indigo-haired girl's hand was poised right over the doorknob.

"Is there a problem?"

"Yes, there is!" Ino grabbed the girl's wrist, forcefully dragging her over to the shared bathroom, where on Sakura and Ino's side, it was beauty supplied galore.

"You're violating fashion law in over twenty different ways by going out to dinner in an outfit like that!"

"I know! I mean seriously, where are you guys going to? A trash dump?" Sakura was definitely going to be an ambassador when she grew up...

All of Blue's less-than-enthusiastic responses were drowned out by the SFD literally leaping on her and applying all their crazy formulas on her. Needless to say, they were determined to make Blue a girl worth of catching Itachi's eye...or at least kill Blue in the process of trying.

"OW!"

"Stupid pig; you shouldn't poke that in her eye!"

"Why, forehead girl? Not everyone needs to play up their eyes as much as you do!"

"Why you--"

And that's how it went more or less for a very painful five minutes. Oh God, why did Blue suddenly feel as if years were racing by as multiple colours flashed by her face and the strangest-smelling concoctions were shoved near and on her. Whoever said beauty was easy, of course, should be shot by now. Honestly, last-period PE seemed like heaven, especially when her precious, treasured blue locks were being combed and pulled and dragged with every brush strokes.

She was aiming for presentability, not a complete personality change!

The pain stopped suddenly, and the harpies...erm, stylists, drew away to examine their finished work of art. Blue was starting to feel like their stares would rival Pein, with the intensity. They were looking for a flaw, any sort of flaw so they could harp and harp upon it. Thankfully, there was none.

"Sakura..."

"Yes Ino?"

"I believe we deserve a medal!" the blonde squealed, as girl-hugs were exchanged and delighted praises soared through the air. Said piece of art really, really, really didn't want to turn around and look at the mirror. Said piece of art was using all her willpower not to do a little 180 turn and see the gruesome beast she had become. Said piece of art refused to believe she was vain enough to actually want to see how she'd been transformed.

"Do you like it, do you like it?" Sakura giggled, saving Blue a lot of self-debate by forcibly turning the junior around to look in the mirror.

Said piece of art was secretly grateful to Sakura and Ino for forcing her to see herself.

"It's..." Blue began, and she really couldn't continue because she was still shellshocked at the face staring back at her. It couldn't be her, she had bags from studying for so long, her cheekbones made her face so sharp there wasn't a round surface to see. Her hair was tame, but bland. The girl in the mirror however...

"Amazing?"

"Fabulous?"

"You love us?"

"Make sure to tell Sasuke who did this!"

"Beautiful?"

"Perfect." Blue smiled, genuinely satisfied with the work Sakura and Ino had done. She felt like Cinderella in the stories, with two fairy godsisters and a date better than Prince Charming. "Thank-you," she remembered to add, turning away from her reflection to bow at the two. The gleeful looks on their faces simply spelled "delight" and they pounced her with a group hug.

"Ohmygod!" Sakura noticed the time, "Aren't you going to be late for your date?"

"It's a club meeting, and yes. But really," and here, she smiled gently again, "Thank you for everything." And Blue hurried out the door, satisfied with her reflection.

Meanwhile, Sakura and Ino traded manipulative smiles, oh yes, they were most certainly going to get a lot of brownie points with Sasuke.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Sakura's brain flow-chart: Blue goes to meeting, Itachi falls in love, He takes her to his dorm, they fall in love and get married. Of course, someone will need to alert Sasuke of his brother's wedding and who better to fall in love with than his brother's bridesmaid?

"I think I'm thinking what you're thinking." Ino smirked as they high-fived and high-tailed it out of the dorm, even forgetting to lock the doors.

(_dream, dream on; dream, dream off_)

Seconds after Sakura and Ino had gone off looking for Sasuke, Naruto appeared on the dorm's doorstep, eager for another chance to ask Sakura out. Nevermind she had rejected him those 247 times before! Tonight was definitely going to be his lucky night! Tonight, his wildest dreams would come true and Sakura would finally realize Sasuke was an asshole and she deserved someone awesome, like Uzumaki Naruto!

"Sakura-chan?" he eagerly rapped at their door.

It swung open with a creak, and you could almost see the tumbleweed blowing by, symbolizing that this was indeed, a deserted room.

"She must be buying me flowers!" the enthusiastic freshman declared, satisfied at last with the explanation of why on earth dear Sakura was not in her room. Happy with his delusions, he proudly strode out the door, forgetting to close it.

(_isn't there anywhere safe for me to be? someone to hold?_)

"Where is he?!" Fangirl number one screeched. A hoard of female students followed her.

"I think he went in that direction! The boy's dormitory!" Fangirl number two yelled.

"Follow him! We will not let him escape our love!" Fangirl number one declared, as the brigade charged in the opposite direction of where Uchiha Sasuke was hiding. Said runaway breathed a sigh of relief. 'Man, if I knew that running into the girl's dormitories would have never been suspected, I would have done that years ago!' he thought, before brushing himself off in order to see if there were any places he could hidein until the coast was clear, other than an open hallway in the treacherous girls' dormitory, of course.

Luck was with the younger Uchiha, for he discovered a completely open door, just waiting to be locked shut so he could escape!

Quickly taking a look around the place (to make sure there were no girls around, after all, the open door could be a bait of some sort...) and satisfied with the nonexistant tumbleweed blowing by, he shut the door, taking care to lock and bolt it, before stretching out on the bed.

"..."

Okay, so he was safe. But he was bored as well. So he figured he might as well rummage around the room, after all he was curious about the occupants of the room (and how crazy they must be to leave the room in such disarray at seven o'clock on a Thursday night, no less! So curiousity managed to hook him in enough to open the drawer of the desk closest to him. There wasn't anything in it. So he moved onto the next. And here, he found a hot-pink notebook.

Now, at this moment, any boy who ever had any contact with ls would know that hot-pink notebooks should not be opened and open dorm rooms should not be entered. But of course, Sasuke was anti-girl on a whole and didn't know any of this. So the innocent boy flipped open the notebook (there was nothing better to do and if he remembered correctly, it took them a good two hours to call off the search so he had a lot of time to kill) and read the first line.

_Dear Diary, Sasuke is so hot_...

Now, he could have, would have, should have slammed it shut then. But he was bored and curious and enraptured. Never had he known girls would actually pour their hearts out on diaries.

So the poor boy read all the entries...word-for-word.

Can we spell traumatization?

(_this is a night you'll want to forget_)

"You're late." Pein's monotonous voice called out from the darkness that was the Akatsuki lounge.

"I know."

"Did you dress appropriately?" And here, right now, ten minutes late for her club dinner/meeting, Blue realized she was still wearing the tacky dress. The tacky black dress that she had worn for her eighth grade graduation. The tacky black dress she had worn to any formal event ever. Yes, that tacky black dress. She might have had a satisfying upper-reflection...but the tacky black dress!

She was majorly screwed.

"Yes." Oh joy, she was now retorting to lying! Could it get any better? Of course not!

"Alright, we have a limousine, courtesy of Zetsu," Pein motioned to a dark figure in the room, where the gnawing of teeth could be heard. A dark chuckle resonated throughout the entire group.

"Let's go."

And he led her out into the light. He probably should have raised his eyebrows a fraction, given her some joy that he noticed the drastic change in her appearance, but he continued to look dead-straight ahead, as he led them to the limo. Of course, she followed directly behind him and the rest of the Akatsuki followed the two of them, comments flying up like flames. But he paid no heed to them because her appearance for tonight was being repeated again and again in his mind. Her hair was curled beautifully, a couple delicate curls dangling upon her ivory skin while the rest were gracefully sorted up into a chignon, pinned in by (you guessed it) a white rose. Only the darkest red was applied on her eyes and she did indeed look ready to go into the fine restaurant Hidan had threatened Kakuzu into reserving for tonight. Yes, Blue looked magnificent.

That is, until he got to her crappy dress. It was a tacky black sort of dress, the kind someone would wear over and over again because they were too lazy to buy something new. Oh well, it's not like he was dating her for aesthetic value anyways.

Everything seemed to be speeding by for Blue tonight. She could hardly remember the noisy limo ride as Sasori and Deidara in the front semi-struggled to keep the vehicle from crashing. Deidara of course, kept on screaming something about how flying was so much simpler. And here she was, under the gorgeous, magnificent, _Chateau de Luna_, the restaurant that you had be pay before, during, and after to get in, Not to mention the waiting list was five miles long.

And now, they were seated, and it was a circular table (not unlike the one the Akatsuki lounge room had) so everyone assembled accordingly. First was Leader, and next to him, his "girlfriend," after that was Itachi, Kisame, Hidan, Kakuzu, Sasori, Deidara, Tobi, and Zetsu made the circle full.

She excused herself to wash her hands, after all, if they wanted to die of food poisoning or dirty hands, that was their decision, but she had a better death wish than that.

Honestly, how would she know the morons would be bringing down the house by placing the craziest orders in history...without her?

(_munchy, munchy, cruchy-crunchy_)

"Hinata, will you go to table thirty-two for me?" someone called, currently busy attending to table one.

"Of course," the ever-so-ready to please girl grabbed a waiter sheet, hoping that there weren't too many people at the table. Knowing the restaurant like the back of her hand, she tried to brace her legs at the people seated around table thirty-two.

'Kami hates me,' she emo-ed. There were nine people sitting around the table. Nine people. All wearing black trenchcoats and purple nailpolish, sipping their tea. Well, half of them were, the other half were engaged in a conversation that escalated into an argument. 'Courage, Hinata, courage! Think of Naruto-kun!" And she stepped up, ready to wait on them to the best of her ability.

"U-um," she bit her tongue, chiding herself about stammering, "my name is Hinata, and I'll be your waitress for tonight."

"Great, a waitress, do you people here have any fucking idea how long I've been waiting?" the silver-haired man demanded.

"U-uh well,"

"Is this tea imported? Because it's very good." A man whose face completely covered intoned.

"I don't really--" This was not a good start.

"Where's the bathroom?"

"This place's art sucks! Art is a blast! Art is a--"

"Dango."

"What?" After months of training by kind and caring employees, Hinata could have screamed at not being able to distinguish what an order was yet.

"I want dango. Regular serving, light on the anko sauce."

"O-oh! Of course!" Hinata stammered, hastily writing it down, looking up at her customers, and thanking Kami for seeing them buried in their menus. Well, most of them. The man who ordered dango was staring off into space, and the spiky-haired man (whom she thought looked like a porcupine) looked like he was plotting something, tapping his fingers restlessly while sipping the tea.

"Hey, lady, I'd like a whole pig." Well that was certainly an eyebrow-raiser.

"Hidan, do you have any idea how goddamn expensive that is?" Stiches-man looked like he would pop a vein.

"Ignore the heathen, make sure to cook it rare. Actually, don't cook it at all." And he folded his menu, handing it to her. Hinata was getting more and more disturbed by the second.

"Sasori and I will share the pork buns, un!"

She quickly wrote it down, happy for a sane order, until she heard what she assumed to be Sasori's reply.

"You idiot, how many time do I have to tell you I don't eat?"

"Who cares, un?" And he handed her the menu.

"Tobi wants asparagus!"

Hinata sweatdropped at the childish speaking, but wrote down asparagus nonetheless, wondering if he wanted it cooked rare as well.

"Anything else?" So far, only six people had ordered. And one of them technically didn't place an order.

"I'll just eat some of this money-burner's pig," a glare was shot towards the raw pig-eater.

"Hell, no! You'd probably drool all over it! Get your own meal!" Said raw pig-eater didn't seem too happy about it.

"I'm not eating anything." Touche, the plotting man.

"I'd like this page." Hello, crazy ordering.

"What?"

The blue-haired sharp-teethed crazy-orderer gestured to the entire seafood page.

"Oh. All right, would you like them spicy?"

"Yes, please."

"O-kay!" she was really hoping that the last man wouldn't order anything crazy, not that she could see anything with his hood pulled over his head.

"And would you like anything to eat, sir?"

The head lifted a little, she swore she saw the glint of pearl-white teeth that accompanied a group chuckle. She sweatdropped, was he unable to eat or something?

"Zetsu doesn't eat anything that's served on the menu." Thank god "Sasori" was a translator for their dark chuckles.

"Oh, we can custom-make as well!"

"Believe me, he has a very...unique diet in which you would not be able to provide for." More dark chuckles ensued as the hooded person put down the already pretty-low head. Hinata didn't push it anymore.

"Alright then, you're orders will be arriving shortly!" And Hinata thankfully turned heel and all but dashed away.

Or she would have except...

"Is this yours?" Oh, it was the dango-man again. He was holding a photo of...

She blushed furiously; how had she let that drop? Muttering a quick thank-you, she snatched it out of his hand and ran off, ignoring the murmurings of the group at her sudden change in behaviour.

'...I should have never agreed to serve that table," Hinata miserably thought, waiting at an empty table for their meals to be cooked.

"That was Naruto, was it not?"

"Eep!" Although it was only a little hop, she wished at that moment she could jump sky-high.

(_starve, shrivel up and die..._)

Blue twitched. When she got back, not only had they all placed their orders and forgotten to order something for her, they had the nerve to ask her if she wanted anything to eat! While the menus were being taken away in front of her very eyes!

She was annoyed to say the least. And her boyfriend wasn't being very kind. Who brings a club member to the fanciest restaurant in town, only to not let her order anything AND subject her to an interogation when he KNOWS that she skipped lunch because of a stupid initiation by the same person? Pein, of course, that's who.

"Obviously, we're curious about you." Oh goodie, the high-and-mighty leader decided to talk.

"Yeah, un! What's with the name? I mean, Blue! It's a colour, un!" Oh, was Deidara a genius or what?

"It's a nickname I chose for myself."

"Why?" Of course the Pope's son was too rich to use logic! Logic was for the common folk!

"Because her hair's blue, moron!"

And they group bickered on for a little while until the orders began to arrive. Kisame and Hidan's order required two waiters each in order to carry out and the end result was the Akatsuki spreading out on three tables. Blue was somewhat satisfied when Deidara offered to share some pork buns with her (seeing as how Sasori couldn't eat and all...). And she munched on her bun as Sasori and Deidara got into yet another arguement about whether life was meant to be lived with a bang or as a limitless joy. Of course, it tied into art in the end.

"What are you thinking of?" In any other context, she would have thought it was a kind question, but the words, or rather, the apathy in them, really killed the meaning in them.

"Food." She glanced casually at Pein as he stood up, grabbed a plate of seafood from Kisame, and literally ripped a pig leg off from Hidan's pig and presented the two sustenances for her.

There was a dead silence in the room, Deidara and Sasori clamming up, and everyone seemed frozen in time. She raised her eyebrows before taking both offering and eating the sun-boiled salmon in a satisfied manner. No thank-you's were muttered before, after, or during the gift, but Pein didn't seem to mind.

And slowly, as if the threads were still being strained around the group, idle chatter drew up, and everyone noticed that Itachi had left...with his dango in plain sight.

Needless to say, the older Uchiha had to reorder his dango when he got back.

(_might we lie to you, we'll love you all the same_)

"Your name."

It was the end of the evening, he was being a "proper" boyfriend (as instructed by Hidan) and dropping her off by her dormitory.

She sighed, well-aware of the unspoken question. Somehow, some part of her didn't want him to know. Because once he knew, he knew everything. And he would probably be able to break apart and piece together her lie. But there was a part, some part, that was tired of lying, and wanted someone to know. Blue, truely "Blue" for the last time tonight, took both those parts and threw them out for night. And released everything in a name she hadn't heard, hadn't spoken, hadn't thought of for over three years.

"Konan."

A breeze blew by as the letters rolled of her tongue. The taste of the word was bittersweet, like a midsummer eve's dream long forgotten and yet still wanting to be remembered.

"It's...nice." And it took her a moment to realize he had just complimented her name.

"Thank you."


End file.
